Think Twice
by owanaminapotter
Summary: James and Lily's marriage isn't as perfect as people seem to think it is, but they still hold strong to each other through times of darkness. There comes a time however when the stress is to much for the young couple and leads to horrible mistakes.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello all! This little story here came into my brain when I saw that so many fanfictions portray James and Lily's marriage as perfect to the max. They never fight, they never bicker, etc etc. I found that very unrealistic and for Merlin's sake this is JAMES and LILY we're talking about! Whether we like it or not, they're going to have fights. Anyways, this is going to be a two-shot and I'm almost done the second chapter. The genre also has Romance in it but the romance comes more in the second chapter. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I were JKR, a prequel about the marauders would have been published a LOOOOOONG time ago. 'Nuff said.

"That's it James! I've had enough!"

A fight had broken out in the Potter household at number 27 Godric's Hollow. The couple that lived there was standing quite a distance away from each other and shouting as though they each were at the opposite ends of a Quidditch pitch. Both were red in the face from yelling and both looked like they were going to file for divorce in the next second.

"You keep on going off and risking your life for the blasted Order while I'm stuck here like a timid housewife wondering where the _hell _you are at three in the bloody morning!" Lily Potter shouted as her vivid red hair fell in her face. She brushed it aside impatiently. "Has it ever occurred to you that I want to help too?"

James Potter took several deep breaths to try and calm his temper to no avail. "Has it ever occurred to _you _that I don't want to lose you?" he growled. "Goddammit Lily, people die out there every day in this bloody war and I just want to help you to stay safe!" His would-be calm voice vanished as it rose with every word he said.

Lily let out a scream of frustration. "That's the problem James! You think I'm weak and I can't take care of myself. Well, newsflash! I _can_ take care of myself and I'd feel a lot better it I was out there fighting with you!" Why couldn't James just see how important it was that she fought in this war with him? Did he not know that she spent every lonely night without him worrying about if he was gravely injured by a Death Eater or not? No of course he didn't. She never told him.

For the first time in their argument James said nothing but started blankly at Lily. After a few minutes' silence he opened his mouth and spoke in a voice a great deal calmer than before "I never said you're weak or incapable Lily. I'm just worried that I'll lose you. Do you know how much you mean to me Lily? Do you?" he demanded almost harshly.

Lily nostrils flared as she bit out an answer "Obviously not that much if you're going to just leave me behind while you help people defeated Voldemort." She knew these words were a complete and utter lie but Lily's temper was much harder to dissolve than James'. And when Lily Potter was in a temper, her mouth completely disregarded her brain and tended to say things that were not true or that she didn't mean.

Her answer was the last straw for James however. He slammed a hand on the table beside him in fury so hard that the whole room seemed to quake. "You do not know me at ALL then!" he roared. "I love you more than anything else in this world and I'm not about to stand back and watch you risk your neck to try and stop Voldemort!" James' temper was back up full blast.

Then, Lily said something that she possibly regretted the most in her entire life. "You know what James? Just leave. Get out! Get out of my life and then you'll see how well I can manage all by myself without you in it!"

James didn't say anything. His face was devoid of emotion and his eyes were possibly the coldest Lily had ever seen them. Lily's heart was beating at a frantic pace and her mind was screaming at her asking why on earth she just told the best thing that ever happened in her life to just walk right out of it.

Finally, after what felt like several years, James stormed out of the room and towards the entrance to the house. Lily followed him with emotions from savage satisfaction to unbearable fear pounding inside of her.

"If that's how you feel, then fine." James said in a voice as cold as his eyes. "I'm leaving." And with that said, James pulled open the door and slammed it behind him with a force that made the window beside it shake in its frame. Lily was left starting at a closed door too numb to move even an inch.

It almost seemed surreal. James had left her, and from what she gathered from his tone of voice, forever. The anger that filled her not moments before now vanished completely and was replaced by an unstoppable wave of sadness.

And the worst part it of all was that James left at the time when Lily needed him the most. If he really was going to break up with her, she would not be just a single person; she would be a single person...with a child. What James didn't know was that Lily was a whole month pregnant with their child and this fight was more likely than not just based on out of control hormones. And because of those blasted hormones, this child may not have a father anymore. Lily sank down onto the bottom step of the staircase, wrapped her arms around her knees, and started to cry. This was possibly the worst day in her whole life.

* * *

Panting heavily, James ran up the stairs of the building where his best friend's Sirius Black's flat resided. He cursed whoever built it for not installing an elevator. His fight with his wife (or at least, he hoped he could still call her that) shook him so badly that he completely forgot that he could do magic and he could apparate right outside of Sirius' flat. Every fibre of his being was screaming at him to go back to Lily and make up with her but if she really wanted him out of his life well then, she got her wish. James himself would rather die than be away from Lily but he had his infuriating need to do whatever he could to make her content. Unfortunately, he was naive enough to believe that Lily was speaking the truth when she said she wanted him out of her life.

But the deed was done and there was no turning back. One of the many downsides of this was that James no had nowhere to live so he headed towards his best friend's house in hopes that he may let James live there for a bit while he looked for a flat of his own. The very thought pained him more than the Cruciatus curse.

When he finally reached the door of Sirius' home he knocked as hard as he could. There was a bit of a shuffling noise before the door opened to reveal the handsome yet slightly battle-worn face of Sirius Black. Said face creased in concern when Sirius saw his best friend standing in the doorway looking forlorn and lost.

"Hey," James spoke in a horse voice "can I stay here for a while?"

Sirius nodded but said nothing; seemingly at a loss for words.

James muttered a word of thanks and stumbled inside the cozy looking living room before collapsing on the couch and hiding his face in his hands. He felt a weight fall beside him and Sirius' voice finally broke the silence, "Why...how....where...why are you...why?" He seemed to have regained his voice but was still unable to form complete and coherent sentences.

James turned to him his eyes bloodshot and told Sirius all about the fight he and Lily had and how she screamed at him to get out of her life. At the end of the retelling Sirius was the one with his face in hands.

"You two are both such _berks_!" he said, his voice a little muffled because of his hands.

"Excuse me?" James said indignantly

Sirius sprung up from his seat on the couch and started pacing back and forth in front of James. "You two are such idiots!" he exclaimed "You're fighting over something that's not even worth fighting over! Didn't you realize James, that after a while Lily is going to start getting a little irked that all of us are trying to stop Voldemort and she's not? Has it ever crossed your mind that she's _worried _about you?" Suddenly he ceased in his pacing and fixed James with a fierce glare "And why, Merlin, _why_ James, did you just up and walked out on her after seven bloody years of pining after her?!"

"Hey!" James snapped jumping to his defence as he too rose from the couch. "She told me to leave alright? She made it perfectly clear that she can make it fine with her life without me in it!"

Sirius sighed in exasperation. "Yes James, she _can_ but that doesn't mean she wants too!" he said as though he was explaining one plus one equals two to a five year old. "Have you ever heard of the phrase, 'in the heat of the moment'? You know what Lily's like! The fight probably riled her up and made her say something she definitely regretted! If Lily truly wants to live her whole life without you in it, then I'll eat my broomstick."

James let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and muttered, "You weren't there Sirius. I don't think she regretted it at all." He turned on his heel and walked swiftly towards the extra bedroom and closed the door with a sharp snap.

He fell onto the bed and lay motionless there just thinking about what his life would be without Lily in it. Suddenly, before he could stop them, wracked sobs escaped his mouth. He knew for a fact that that life was going to be complete and utter hell.

A/N: Review and I'll update faster!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So this is the second and last chapter of Think Twice. It's much longer than the first one so I hope you enjoy. Oh and sorry if it gets a bit fluffy at the end. I have a sickness with that I swear...

Disclaimer: Me no own. Me sad. JKR happy. Nuff said.

Alice Longbottom was sitting in the kitchen devouring a plate of cookies as she read an article on the newest murders, by the Death Eaters, printed in the _Daily Prophet_. Her eyes still stung with tears when she read the article that gave the horrible news that Marlene Mckinnon, her Hogwarts school-friend, had been killed by the Dark wizard Lord Voldemort. She had cried horribly when she first heard the news while Frank tried his hardest to comfort her, feeling very protective of her ever since she had told him she was pregnant.

Alice sighed as she rubbed her stomach gently. She knew it was probably the worst time to start a family at the moment but was it her fault that Frank forgot to use the contraceptive spell that one night?

Just as she was about to stuff the cookie she was holding in her mouth, a sudden burst of green flame in the fireplace and the image of her best friend Lily Potter spinning out of it caused her to yelp and drop the cookie. Thankfully, Frank was out buying groceries so he did not come running, hexing every possible thing he could see.

Alice stared as Lily brushed off the soot on her robes and gave her an apologetic look, "I'm so sorry Alice for just barging in on you but I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life and I need someone to talk to." It was only then did Alice realize that Lily's eyes and nose were puffy and red.

Shaking herself out of her state of shock, Alice hurried over to her friend and gently led her over to the couch. "It's okay Lily, you can talk to me." she said in a soothing voice.

Trying her best not to cry Lily told Alice the story of her and James' argument exactly as James himself told Sirius miles away. Right when she was about to finish Lily broke into a fresh wave of sobs.

"H-he left me Alice. He w-walked out of my life." She whispered, hiccoughing.

Alice felt a wave of fury towards James. How dare he leave Lily in this state? "Why that little- if he comes here, I'm going to hex him so bad-" she started furiously, but was cut off by Lily shaking her head frantically.

"No, no, no, Alice it's not his fault." Lily said miserably. "It's mine. I told him to leave and get out of my life. I told him I could cope fine without him. I can definitely, but that's obviously the last thing I want to do."

"Lily!" Alice exclaimed looking at Lily in surprise and a bit of disappointment. "Why on earth did you do that?! That man has done nothing but love and respect you! The reason he didn't want you to help fight is because he can't stand to lose you! All husbands that have a shred of decency are like that!"

"Frank let you join the Order." Lily said.

Alice sighed "Yes but do you know how many fights like that we had before he finally caved in? Lily, if you give up after every fight, knowing you and James, your marriage is going to be over very soon!" Suddenly, she scowled, "And anyway, it doesn't look like I'm going to be fighting anymore either because guess what? I'm pregnant." Alice looked over at Lily and wasn't surprised to see a look of shock on her face.

"You're...you're p-pregnant?" Lily stammered.

Alice nodded beaming. "A month actually."

Lily's eyes widened to the size of saucers. Then a watery grin worked its way across her face. "Well then that makes two of us." she said.

Alice's jaw dropped and it was her turn to stammer. "What-I mean-you-pregnant-too-wha?" The power of speech seemed to have long vanished from her.

Lily nodded but the smile she had on slipped from her face like soap. She looked miserable once more. "But my child is not going to have a father from the looks of it" she mumbled sadly.

Suddenly filled with fierce determination, Alice leapt off the couch, startling Lily and said, "Not if I can help it. I'll make sure that your baby has its father holding him or her when it's born if it's the last thing I do."

"I'm not sure you'll be to Alice. I told James to get out of my life!" Lily said as she got off the couch as well.

"Hey, you love the bloke right?"

"Of course."

"And he loves you too right?"

"...I hope he still does"

"Well, then that's reason enough for me to try and get James back to you." Alice said with an air of finality around her. "Don't worry, I can be very...persuasive." she added smirking.

"Alright you can try but I don't know what good it'll do" said Lily uncertainly. After a moment however she gave a Alice a hug that nearly broke her bones and made her fear for their unborn children. "You have no idea how much this means to me Alice" Lily said, emotion lacing with her words.

"Hey, it's the least I could do." Alice said hugging her back smiling. When they both let go, Alice gently shoved Lily back towards the fireplace. "Now you go home and have a nice warm bubble bath and just calm down. I'll take care of everything."

Lily took a pinch of floo powder and threw it into the flames which roared emerald green once more. She stepped in the flames and turned back to Alice saying, "Thanks Alice, for everything." before saying her address and disappearing in a flash of green flame.

* * *

Sitting on his bed and reading a magazine was where one could find Sirius Black. He listened to the sound of the shower running in the next room where James was taking his usual before bed shower. It had been two days since "The Ultimate Argument" as Sirius dubbed it, and if someone said that James was feeling better about it, that person would be lying through his or her teeth. He barely spoke two words in the time he was at Sirius' place and spent most of his time shut in the guest bedroom. Indeed Sirius was lucky to even catch a glimpse of him. He tried once or twice to talk to James using anything from calm rational words, to threatening to break the door down to see him. But James was stubborn and just simply ignored Sirius' urging.

Sirius sighed. He knew James wanted to be alone for now but he also did think that talking it out a bit more might be helpful as well. He suddenly wished Remus Lupin was with him at the moment. Remus was always good with these things.

As Sirius turned a page on the extravagant loss of the Chudley Cannons, he for a moment thought he hear a faint knocking and a voice calling his name. Denouncing it as just a figment of his imagination, he kept on reading. Then he heard it again, only this time it wasn't so faint.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK, GET YOUR BLOODY ARSE OVER HERE!"

He recognized the voice immediately as Alice Longbottom's. He tumbled out of bed and hurried as fast as he could towards the living room where the voice was issuing from. You don't keep Alice waiting. She knew as much curses and hexes as Lily did, and you would not want to be on the receiving end on one of them.

When Sirius scrambled into the room, he quickly realized that Alice was at the other side of the front door, all but pounding the poor piece of wood. Sirius hurried to open it and the doorway revealed a very annoyed looking Alice Longbottom.

"About time! I've been calling your name for the past five minutes!" she said indignantly not even bothering to wait for Sirius' approval for her to come it and just marching into the room.

Sirius closed the door behind her all the while thinking irritably, _Yes please do come in, it's not as though it's rude to just barge in _but he knew better than to say that. Instead, he said, "Sorry, but the shower was on and I couldn't hear you. And anyway-" but he was cut off by Alice.

"James is here isn't he?" she said bluntly.

Sirius' eyes widened. "How did you know that?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Did you honestly think that Lily would just mope around for days on end at home if James ever left her and not tell anyone about it? Am I her best friend or am I not?" she said "And obviously, if the shower's running and you're not wet, somebody else has to be in there wouldn't they? Also, anybody with half a brain knows that the first person James goes to when he needs help is you." she added as afterthoughts.

"Good point"

"Exactly. Anyways, how's James doing?" Alice asked, concern in her eyes for the first time.

Sirius sighed heavily. "Not well, I must say. He's still very shaken up about the fight and is utterly convinced that Lily doesn't want him in her life anymore."

"Well, I can tell you right now that that's a load of rubbish." Alice said, defiantly. "Lily's in a right state and she's terrified that James is not coming back." She paused for a while and Sirius wondered if there was more to this than she let on.

"I'm trying my hardest to talk to James to get him back to Lily." Sirius said to end the awkward silence. "Has Lily said anything that might make him see how much she wants him with her?"

Alice had a funny expression on her face; as though she wasn't sure if she should tell Sirius or not but was dying to at the same time. "Yes, there's this one thing I found out that will definitely prod James back towards Lily once more."

"Well, what is it?" Sirius asked impatiently.

"Let's just say that I fear for Hogwarts because a new generation of Marauders are on the way" Alice said, a small smile appearing on her face.

Sirius was confused at first. What did she mean a new generation of Marauder's were on the way? They only way that was possible was if either one of Sirius, James, Remus, or Peter Pettigrew had kids. And certainly none of them had any...

And then it hit him. It hit him like a bludger thrown to his face.

"Lily's pregnant?" Sirius whispered slowly as though he was afraid James would hear. But James still appeared to be in the shower.

Alice nodded happily. "Make sure you tell James that. Becoming a father is a pretty damn important factor in someone's life." Suddenly she smirked, "Just ask Frank."

Again, the news hit Sirius like a cannon ball. He threw his arms in the air and exclaimed, "How many more of you woman are pregnant these days?!"

Alice laughed and opened her mouth to say something but then she stopped. Sirius noticed with panic why she paused. The sound of running water from the bathroom had ceased. A look of panic crossed Alice's face as well.

"I have to go. Remember to tell James what I told you!" she hissed quickly and with a turn on her heel, she disapperated with a loud _crack_ and left Sirius staring at the place she was only seconds before.

Sirius ran towards the coffee table, picked up the nearest book he could reach and threw himself onto the couch trying his best to look nonchalant; as if he was sitting there reading the whole time.

In a few minutes time, he heard the bathroom doors open and the sound of bare feet slapping on the hardwood floor reached Sirius' ears. James appeared in the room dressed in his navy blue pyjamas with a towel around his neck. He was about to head over to the kitchen when he stopped at the sight of his best friend on the couch. A look of confusion appeared on his face.

"What are you doing Sirius?" James asked his voice slightly hoarse from lack of use.

Sirius shrugged. "Reading. Why, does that surprise you?"

"No it's just I find it weird that you're reading the dictionary...which is upside down"

Sirius looked at the cover of the book and saw that it was indeed an upside down dictionary. Feeling incredibly stupid he threw the book aside. "I swear I picked it up the right way." He muttered. James snorted and proceeded towards the kitchen where he threw down the towel onto the towel rack and busied himself with getting a glass of milk. Sirius decided it was now or never.

"Er, Prongs? I need to tell you something." Sirius started cautiously. James nodded to show that he was listening. "Alice just came over for a bit and told me something that I think will definitely interest you." Sirius took a deep breath before saying, "It's about Lily."

James's stature visibly tightened. In a toneless voice he asked, "What about her?"

"Well, from what I heard from Alice she's not doing the greatest. Apparently she really regrets telling you to leave."

James scoffed and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "Yeah, _right_." Sirius felt his annoyance with James at the moment grow.

"She does James. And again, from what I found out I can tell that she really needs you right now."

"Why do you say that?" James asked not looking at Sirius.

Sirius gave James a hard glare. "Because she's pregnant James." he said bluntly.

_Crash. _The cup of milk that James was holding in his hand slipped as his grip slackened and fell to the floor, breaking into a dozen pieces and spilling the liquid everywhere. Neither James nor Sirius took any notice of it. James paled and his breathing had become quick and shallow. Slowly, he turned around and place one had on each end of the kitchen sink. Sirius could see his shoulders shaking. He was crying.

Sirius felt his cold resolve for him melt and said in a voice much gentler than before, "You're going to be a father James. I think I'm right in saying that Lily wants you back with her."

Just as Sirius approached James to try and comfort him, James sharply turned around sending Sirius jumping back in shock.

"Where's my travelling cloak? I need to go somewhere." He said trying hard not to let his voice break.

"It's in the closet like always." Sirius said while pointing to the closet in question. Somehow, he knew that "somewhere" meant number 27 Godric's Hollow.

James dashed towards the closet, tore open the doors, and grabbed his cloak before quickly putting it on over his pyjamas. There was no time to change. He roughly slid on his trainers and he rushed to the door and pulled it open. But before he ran out, he turned back towards his best friend and started to say, "Sirius, I-" but Sirius held up a hand to interrupt him.

"Don't mention it Prongs. I wasn't about to stand and watch the best couple Hogwarts had ever seen fall apart because of a bloody spat. All I ask is that you name me godfather to your kid because, let's face it, I deserve it." Sirius said smirking.

James rolled his eyes but gave Sirius a warm grin before saying a quick goodbye and rushing out of the flat, closing the door behind him.

Sirius let out a huge sigh and fell back onto the couch. As he put his feet on the coffee table and his hands behind his head, he thought, _My work here is done_.

* * *

Miles away, James Potter was hurrying up the stone pathway towards his house, his feet pounding on the cold ground. He saw that the lights in the house were still on. _Good that means that Lily's still awake _he thought with relief. He didn't much fancy having to sneak into their house at night and wake up his surely still enraged wife from her sleep.

As he approached the front door, he took out his wand to unlock it, but then thought better of it. He wasn't sure if he should just barge in regardless of whether it was his house or not. Gulping nervously, he raised a hand and rang the doorbell. A distorted red shape appeared in the window next to the door and it gradually became larger and larger. Then, before he knew it, the door was open and the sight of Lily Potter stood before it.

Being pregnant and away from her husband had took its toll on Lily. Her hair was almost as messy as James's was, her eyes (which were slightly puffy and red) had the beginning of dark circles under them, she was wearing too big baggy pants and a magenta shirt that had seen better days. Despite all of that, James still thought Lily looked beautiful.

Lily's green eyes at first widened with surprise (and hopefully joy) but then narrowed as she surveyed James. "What are you doing back here?" she asked harshly. James flinched at her tone but still stood his ground.

"I needed to come back. Is it okay if I come in?" James said gently.

Lily nodded curtly and stood back to let James in. The familiar smell of their house hit James so forcefully and he just realized how much he had missed it. He turned around to face his wife and before she could open his mouth, James started talking.

"Listen Lily, I wanted to come back to tell you how unbelievably sorry I am for just walking out on you two days ago. I still feel like the world's biggest bastard for doing that." Lily said nothing so James carried on. "I let my temper get the better of me and I said things I didn't mean. And I sincerely hope you didn't mean some of the things you said too." Still Lily didn't utter a word but James could swear that the ends of her mouth twitched upward slightly.

"But if you still don't want me in your life then I'll respect your decision but if I can't be in your life, then I at least want to be in our child's." At this, Lily paled and her jaw dropped along with her arms which were formerly firmly crossed. James stepped forwards and placed a hand on Lily's shoulders. "Yes, Lily I know about the baby. Alice told Sirius who told me, and I just want to say that I couldn't be happier. But I don't want our child to grow in two separate households and I'm sure you don't as well."

Lily's eyes filled with tears and she looked down. James panicked. He could never figure Lily out if she was not looking at him. "So, what do you say? Can we be together again?" he asked softly, tilting her chin back up with his finger.

With a last shuddering breath, Lily wound her arms tightly around her husband. James felt his heart skip with joy and he hugged her close as well. He couldn't believe how much he missed her warmth.

"I'm sorry James" she said in a choked voice. "I'm sorry for everything. When I told you to leave I didn't mean it. It was just these bloody hormones getting the better of me. It was my fault"

"Hey, hey, hey," James said while rubbing his hands in a circle on her back in a soothing manner. "Don't go blaming it all on you. Both of us were at fault in that fight. But let's not dwell on that anymore okay? We've got our kid to think about!" he said, feeling the excitement of being a father fill him up like air in a balloon. Lily giggled and detached herself from her husband to lead him over to the armchair in the living room. James plopped down onto it and tugged at Lily's hand so she could sit down on his lap. When she did, he wrapped his arms around her while Lily leaned her head in the crook of his neck.

"I still can't believe I'm going to be a father. Me, James Potter, a dad!" he exclaimed as he put a hand on Lily's stomach. He could almost feel the life growing in there.

Lily laughed but suddenly she looked a bit worried, "So you're fine with it right?" she said.

"Fine with what?"

"Having a baby?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, it's just that with the wizarding war going on and people dying left right and center, it's not exactly the greatest time to start a family is it?" she said fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

James sighed, "I'd be lying if I said I'm not nervous about that. Hell, I'm scared witless. But a baby is one of those things that can't be un-done and so help me Merlin, I will personally kill whoever tries to harm you or our kid." He said fiercly.

"I guess you're right." Lily said as she snuggled in more deep into James's arms. Suddenly Lily straightened up and bit and looked at James determinedly. "James I don't want to start another fight but I should tell you, I am going to help the Order defeat Voldemort."

James winced. "Lily you're pregnant! You're going to put out baby's life in danger as well as your own if you're off fighting death eaters!"

Instead of blowing up like she usually would do, Lily seemed to be deep in thought. "How about a compromise? I'll help fight with the Order until my stomach gets too big, and when the baby is born, we'll take turns going to meetings and missions and such so that at least one of us is going to be home with our kid. Sound good?"

James thought about it. Truly, he didn't want Lily out there fighting at all, but he couldn't control her and the idea that she might to something drastic if she was stuck inside the house the whole time scared him more than anything. Finally, James decided to go along with Lily's plan. It seemed the most logical thing to do.

"Alright, fine it's a deal."

Lily beamed and pulled James into a quick but sweet kiss. "Thank you James." she said happily.

Still a bit dazed, James grinned as well and placed his lips on Lily's again and kissed her with all he had.

And so, the young couple fell asleep in each other's arms on the armchair in that little cottage at Godric's Hollow; the new child growing happily inside the soon-to-be mother. All was well.

Or so they thought.

A/N: Well that's the end of it. Hope you liked it! REVIEW!!!!!....pwease?


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